Growing Pains

Another year under my big girl belt and with every passing year I try to avoid being a grown up as much as I can. I have learned a great deal in the past year.
1. THINGS ALWAYS CHANGE.
People graduate, get jobs, meet significant others, get married, start families. In other words, college ends. We swore our group would not be like our recently departed "older" friends who had all drifted away and became grown ups. Bar life is great... Ahhh, sadly things always change.
2. I THINK I AM LEARNING WHAT I AM GOING TO LOVE TO DO.
I have been getting really into make up lately. Once I build up my palettes and get really comfortable and familiar with my stuff, freelance is something I really would like to look into. Since I now live in a smaller town, I have found one big advantage....the makeup counters are almost ALWAYS empty. The girls that work there are so anxious to help! I like going to MAC because they have the time to really give me one on one help and are more than willing to answer all of my questions. Plus they totally don't mind if I swatch the hell out of whatever I want. I get really excited and usually go a little overboard with my purchase. I am working on that.
3. YOUR WHOLE LIFE CAN CHANGE IN A SINGLE MOMENT.
We all know what death is...we all know we shall meet our fate one day. I had been fortunate enough to have never attended a funeral of someone that I was personally close to. For me, death has never really been real until it hit close. No, I am not over it. I don't think I will ever be. I don't think anyone really understands how close Eric and I had become again, except for his mother, because she was the only one who saw us. No one really knew how often we would see each other or how often we spoke on the phone. I didn't tell anyone. Mainly because if things went wrong again, I did not want to go through another round of I told you so's. From his death I learned to handle things differently. I try to be patient. Even when it doesn't seem like it I try. I keep in mind that I am not the only one hurting, every other person is fighting their own battle. I am just trying to be the best version of me. I am trying to stop being so negative....except when it comes to movies, music and all things pop culture.

4. YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD...
- To like Hello Kitty.
- To watch animated movies/shows.
- To jam a pod.
- To learn to play an instrument.
- To get a tattoo, well 75+ i'd ask your Dr.
- To dress up for Halloween.
- To hi-5.
5. LOSING WEIGHT IS MIND FUCKERY.
I have NEVER had good eating habits, so when I diet, changing the way I eat is the hardest thing. @#$%#$@#$ The whole concept of losing weight is so confusing! I work and work and work, lose weight feel good....I have one lil treat and gain everything back x2! No warning or anything! I am not being dramatic when I say that this happens overnight. Another thing I don't get. It takes a lot for me to get my plus sized bum up and work out, but when I do I feel good! I sleep better, I have energy! It is wonderful, the heavens open up and smiles and butterflies shower from the sky! If it has so many benefits why does it take so much the next day to get me to do it again? Mind Fuckery thats why! Example 2: Due to a med that I am on I can not taste carbonation in sodas, beer, etc. So easy cut those out. Every now and then I will still have a soda just because I crave one, but why? It is like drinking a flat soda!!!!!!! It is nasty and I don't even enjoy it! Do I drink it? You bet your sweet ass I do. Mind Fuckery.
Stay True To The Game.